Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

Product Information

Have you ever thought, I can't keep doing this--something has to change? Or, I've tried everything to fix this relationship but nothing is working--I fear I'm becoming someone I don't even like? Or even, I love this person, but this is starting to feel impossible? When those who inflict harm aren’t horrified by it enough to get help so they don’t do it again, they most likely will do it again. I need to be _____ . But I now recognize that sacrificing my boundaries to get _____ is the wrong way to get my needs met. On the bright side, her ending was powerful and brought me to tears. I also enjoyed the section at the end with Scripture verses and how to interpret them in healthy ways. But those nuggets of wisdom weren’t enough to overcome the rest of the book. We need the awareness that there is a difference between an occasional slip in behavior and an ongoing pattern of behavior.

there are two types of triggers: internal and external. A trigger is a stimulation caused either by an internal thought or an external action from someone else. I read “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way”, by Lysa Terkeurst several years ago, and I have tried to read each new release she has had since. That book spoke to me and touched me more than any other book I have ever read. With this latest release being about boundaries, I knew I better read (and study) this book as well! I thank God for leading me to Good Boundaries and Goodbyes at this exact time in my life and felt Him speaking to me through Lysa's writing. I'm sure many other women in similar circumstances will feel the same. Corinthians 4:17-18 so we fix our eyes not on what you’re saying, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal. If you are a fan of Lysa Terkeurst and of self-help books (in this case spiritual), and are in need of setting some boundaries, then I definitely recommend reading this book. I will leave this review with just a few more of my favorite quotes.

A trigger makes you anxious because it sets off an alarm making you feel something isn’t right or safe. Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with realistic scripts and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep, and implement healthier patterns An unhealthy person will see your boundary as offensive, and will try to manipulate you into feeling guilty so that you drop your boundary. Emotional devastation isn’t just a set of facts. The greater blow to your well-being is the impact All of it has on you, how you feel, how you function, and how you think.

Understand the five factors to remember when implementing healthy boundaries.Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that access.Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized scriptures that perpetuate unhealthy dynamics in difficult relationships.Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with realistic scripts and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep, and implement healthier patterns.Be equipped to say goodbye without guilt when a relationship has shifted from difficult to destructive and is no longer sustainable.Receive therapeutic wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa’s Christian counselor Jim Cress, who weighs in throughout the book.Early in the book, Terkeurst writes, “I’ll be with you as we trust God to lead us through every word and every step. And you’ll also hear from my Christian counsellor Jim Cress, who will weigh in with therapeutic insights throughout the book.” The book applies current best practices in therapy and relationship counselling to its subject matter. Additionally, it heavily relies on biblical teachings and narratives to help reinforce each point. Most of the book comes from Terkeurst’s personal experiences, and these outside sources support her main topics. Terkeurst does not present any false information; however, her interpretation of the Christian scriptures is sometimes questionable. (I don’t think it’s fair to say her interpretations are wrong. I only mean that someone could argue for a compelling interpretation that contradicts what Terkeurst sometimes.) Nevertheless, the book seems accurate in what it teaches and encourages the reader to learn. We don’t want to grow hard, angry, or develop an attitude of superiority when setting boundaries. Stay humble and surrendered. Wanting to keep the peace so that you don’t have to deal with It may be easier in the short term, but not in the long term. It will cause simmering resentments that will destroy your peace. The main issue is the unhealed trauma still inside you. Tell yourself that you are not in immediate danger. You can let the feeling inform you, but you don’t have to spiral into panic.

Have any of these statements contributed to you giving up on setting boundaries with certain people: Receive therapeutic and theological wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa’s Christian counselor, Jim Cress, and Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Director of Theology, Dr. Joel Muddamalle. Where do we get the idea that we aren’t allowed to say no, have limitations, or be unwilling to tolerate other peoples bad behavior? It’s because: we aren’t sure who we really are, we aren’t sure what we really need, and we aren’t sure that if others walked away from us would be OK.

Romans 12:18 if possible, which imply sometimes it is not possible. If possible, live at peace with everyone.